Returning to Work After Maternity Leave: Why It Feels So Hard (and How to Support Yourself Through It)

As I blow off the dust from my laptop to begin this blog, I can hear my baby playing in the background. My eyes are tired, my heart aches, and yet I feel excited about the work I am diving into. I recently returned to my practice after taking maternity leave with my first baby, and like many transitions into motherhood, it hasn’t been linear. 

There are moments where I feel like myself, when I am grounded in my work, and connected to my professional purpose. There are also moments where I feel the pull of being away from my baby in a way that’s hard to put into words. Both exist, pretty much every day. And that is the paradox of motherhood– intense joy and overwhelming stress. 

I have to admit that after returning to work, I found myself wondering why everything suddenly felt so much harder. Even as someone extensively trained in postpartum mental health, I still felt unprepared for just how disorienting this transition could be.

If you’re navigating the return to work while still adjusting to becoming a parent, it makes sense that this transition feels heavy at times. Keep reading—I’ll share what I’ve noticed in my own return, along with gentle, realistic ways to support yourself through it.

It’s Not Just a Return—It’s a Redefining

Even when the return is wanted, planned, or even welcomed, it can still feel hard. Feelings of guilt, anxiety, exhaustion, and overwhelm are common and expected. Understanding what is contributing to those feelings, and a few things you can support yourself through it, can help. 

We often talk about “going back” to work, but the truth is you’re not going back as the same person. Everything has changed. A different nervous system, a new set of priorities, and changed emotional, physical, and mental capacity. It’s a little strange that we expect to function exactly as we did before. I have found that this is where the pressure builds. Part of what makes this transition so hard is that our expectations often don't match the reality of this season. We believe we should be able to pick up right where you left off, when in reality, you’re learning how to show up in a completely new way. That mismatch alone can feel exhausting.

One of the hardest parts of this transition is what no one really sees. The invisible load is the unseen mental and emotional labor involved in managing a house and everyone in it. You have a million mental tabs open that are concerned with planning and organizing feeding and sleeping schedules, childcare, and anticipating needs. It is the experience of being “on” all the time, with very little space for your brain to fully rest.

For many of the women I work with (and experience myself), this is where perfectionism quietly creeps into your motherhood experience. It’s in the belief that if you just try a little harder, you can do it all. Even if you have support, you likely have the belief that no one can manage it as well as you, or the “right” way, so you end up carrying the load yourself. 

It’s also important to name the very real physical demands that come with this transition. Many parents are returning to work while still recovering from birth, navigating ongoing sleep deprivation, and managing feeding—whether that’s breastfeeding, pumping, or both—often within the constraints of a workday that wasn’t designed with this in mind. On top of that, maternity leave in the United States is often far shorter than what many families actually need, which means this return can happen before you feel physically or emotionally ready. When your body is still adjusting and your energy is limited, it makes sense that returning to work feels like more than just a logistical shift.

What If It Didn’t Have to Be All or Nothing?

With all of this in mind, the question becomes: what might make this feel just a little more manageable? Here are some of the things I share with my patients and actually tried myself when returning to work after maternity leave. 

One of the most helpful (and often overlooked) options during this transition is allowing for a gradual return. While it might not be possible for everyone, it’s worth exploring if this option could be available to you. This could look like a part-time schedule to start, a remote or hybrid transition period, or a phased return with increasing hours over time. Asking for flexibility can make a meaningful difference. For me, this meant starting with just a few patients per week before slowly building back to my full schedule. Once I had my footing (and more stability in childcare) I was able to expand my work in a way that felt sustainable.

If a gradual return is not an option, there are still small shifts that can help. First, let “good enough” be the goal. If you know me, I am always talking about aiming for “good enough”- just take a look at my Instagram. “Good enough” means closing the gap between your perfectionistic expectations and the realities of this season. Not everything needs to be optimized right now.

Next, make space for moments of pause. Life gets really chaotic when you have kids and even more so as a working parent. Give yourself room to slow down and take a few slow breaths before starting your work day, or transitioning back home.

During this transition, it is so important to name what you need. Support doesn’t always show up automatically so I encourage you to ask for it. For me, this meant prioritizing trusted childcare, protecting my sleep as much as possible, and making space for things that help me feel more like myself. What you need will be personal, but naming it is often the first step toward feeling more supported.

I genuinely thought that when I returned to work, everything would fall into place more quickly than it did. If you’re already a parent, you might be smiling at that because the reality is often much messier. Our childcare took longer than expected to fully stabilize, my work looked different when I returned, and I didn’t feel as “ready” as I thought I should. But readiness is not always a clear or confident feeling. Sometimes it looks like showing up while still figuring it out.I am still learning how to hold both roles imperfectly, and  you are allowed to grow into this version of your life too.

You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone

If this transition feels heavier than you expected, you’re not alone in that. Many parents find that returning to work brings up more anxiety, overwhelm, or self-doubt than they anticipated.

Support can make a meaningful difference though. Whether that’s having space to process what this season is bringing up, learning tools to manage anxiety and stress, or gently working through patterns like perfectionism and pressure.

As I return from maternity leave, I’m excited to announce I am now accepting new patients in all PSYPACT states. If you’re navigating pregnancy, postpartum, or a major life transition and are looking for support, I’d be glad to connect. You can reach out through my website to learn more or schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation.